MATTHEW Pewtner has spoken openly about coming to terms with his retirement from rugby earlier this year at the age of just 25.

The former Newport Gwent Dragons winger was forced to finish playing in February on medical advice following a head injury sustained last August.

And knowing that he won’t be “living the dream” as a player anymore has been hard to accept for Pewtner.

“Some days I wander around the house thinking what to do with myself,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve come to terms with everything, it’s still pretty raw.

“I was hoping to play through until I was 33 or 34. By then it would have been nice to do something completely different having had rugby as part of my life for so long.

“But it has all been cut short and I’ve missed the atmosphere of the dressing room over the last couple of months.

“Everyone is so close in rugby and people look out for each other, and being away from that has shown me I need rugby to be a part of my life.

“After announcing my retirement I just wanted to be away from it. Even speaking to the boys was quite difficult because they are still living the dream and we live in different worlds now.”

However, the opportunity to get back into rugby came around and Pewtner leapt at the chance to take up the role of backs coach at childhood club Blackwood next season.

The former Wales Sevens players is also on course to qualify as a primary school teacher having studied throughout his Dragons career.

Speaking about the Blackwood job, he added: “I have always been interested in coaching.

“I’m really passionate about teaching and there is a close correlation between that and coaching.

“It’s going to be a bit of a challenge but I’ve coached youngsters before and I’ve got experience of teaching adults.

“Hopefully this role will help Blackwood but also help me move onto the next chapter of my life.”

Pewtner could have a lot of work on his hands given that Blackwood are destined to finish bottom of Swalec League Division One East this season.

“It has been a real shame to see a club with such a rich history go the way they have this season,” he said. “But it’s a chance to start again next season and bring back the old Blackwood.

“I’ve been down to watch a couple of games and they have competed well.

“Certain aspects of their play are really good but the bounce of the ball just doesn’t seem to be with them.”